Joke Thread

[Theodor]

Man hears the news telling there is a new cold record in Antarctica. -94°C.
He calls a friend who has been working in the research facility there, for a year already.
"Hello Tom, how's the temperature there?"
- "Let me see... -34°C"
"That's odd, the news told of -94?"
- "Oh that! That's outside."

 

[Theodor]

Man was trying to fix a leak on a tin roof. Due to drizzle the roof was slippery, so he went face down and was sliding down the slope. Only a big miracle saved him from slipping off the edge.
Next few days the miracle was all swollen up and made it difficult to walk.

 

[Theodor]

Short from the start pistol echoed across the race track. Riders ran to their bikes and took off, except one.
Starter asked: "What happened?"
The rider replied: "You shot my tire!"

 

[R-Rated]

Short version of one I thought of today when I saw a farm with a sign that read "horse camp".

What games do horses play at horse camp?

Pin the "tale" on the donkey of course!