Joke Thread

[Theodor]

Accountants husband can't sleep, so he turns to her and says: "Honey, tell me, how was work today?"

***

Police pulls over two speeding bikes and tells the riders to write an explanation of what they did. The rider who was behind writes: "The traffic in front of me was going maybe 170, and I was just calmly cruising in the flow of the traffic."

 

[R-Rated]

The rider who was behind writes: "The traffic in front of me was going maybe 170, and I was just calmly cruising in the flow of the traffic."

Reminds me of this excuse...

 

[Theodor]

"Your drivers license please!"
- "But you still have it, from the last time."

 

[Theodor]

Modern day philosophy: "Which got expensive first, chicken or egg?"

 

[YBGuy]

Reminds me of this excuse...

View attachment 7498

Haha, nice!

 

[Theodor]

Dad shouting to his daughter, who has been outside in the dark for couple of hours already: "What are you doing out there for so long?"
She shouts back: "Just enjoying the moonlight."
Dad: "Well it's getting late. Tell the moonlight to hop back on his bike and come back another day."

 

[Theodor]

When I was small, I told my mom that I was afraid of sleeping alone. My mom stroked my hair and with a mellow smile said: "Silly boy, you're never alone here. The boogieman is right under your bed."

 

[R-Rated]

When I was small, I told my mom that I was afraid of sleeping alone. My mom stroked my hair and with a mellow smile said: "Silly boy, you're never alone here. The boogieman is right under your bed."

I think the worst thing about the boogieman under your bed is his voice in music and loud dancing.