I love Chuck Norris statements. They aren't jokes, they are facts!
As for dark humour:
Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?” “To the morgue.” “What? But I’m not dead yet!” “And we’re not there yet.”
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died… ” Are you still holding the ladder?”
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
What animal has five legs? A pit-bull returning from a playground.
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject.
I hate these double standards…if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re “doing a good job” do it at home and your “destroying evidence”.
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgemental, but really, I’ve only ever known and loved her as Christine.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
You can’t say that Hitler was entirely bad. After all, he did kill Hitler.
(but then again he also killed the man who killed Hitler)
darker:
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. By the way - that's a verb, not adjective.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
and VERY dark (no offence intended)
When a women removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye. But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses their shit…
Sparkly water was invented by the Germans. Who else would think of adding gas?
