Joke Thread

[Theodor]

Neighbor comes over to the farm, spots the younger kid of the family and says: "Hey there, Johnny! Is your dad home?"
Little Johnny: "No ,he went to the ER, because he got hit by a motorcycle."
Neighbor: "Oh my. What about your mom?"
Little Johnny: "No ,she went to the ER, because she got hit by a motorcycle."
Neighbor: "That's terrible. What about your older brother?"
Little Johnny: "No ,he's also at the ER, because he got hit by a motorcycle."
Neighbor becoming suspicious: "And what do you do here, all alone?"
Little Johnny: "Just practicing my motorcycle riding."

 

[Theodor]

"Do you remember that gritty looking biker who beat you up in the bar few days ago?"
- "He did not beat me up, he just got a lucky shot. If I'll ever see him again, I'll show him. why?"
"I think your wife just went in to the forest, behind your shed, with her."
- "Some forest that. Couple of dozen trees, at most."

***

Scientist have determined, that there is actually a marsupial, native to Europe - pig in a poke.

 

[Theodor]

A stranger appears on the garage door and asks the owner, who's repairing his bike: "Hey man, do you need bike parts?"
Owner replies: "Nah, man. I'm good."
Next morning when he returned to his garage he saw all his bike parts were gone.

 

[R-Rated]

Based on a true conversation I overhead...

Two old bikers are talking one day about what will happen to all the gear and bikes when they die.

"I guess my kids will have to figure out what to do with my stuff," says the first one.

The second replies, "I guess my wife will pretty much give my stuff away not knowing what it is worth."

"You better hope she give away your garden tools first. Especially the shovel"

"Why?" asks the second.

"Because if she finds out what all your motorcycle stuff is worth, then she won't have the shovel to dig you up to kill you over it."