Any Good Jokes ?

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Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. 2 but don't ask me how they got in there

Q. How many Prodosants does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Change what do you mean change!

Q. How do you get a 1000 cows in a barn
A. Paint the word BINGO on the side of the barn
 
a Neutron walks into a bar and asks the guy at the bar how much a beer is. barman turns round and says "for you, no charge"



It's the war of the atoms, two brave ones are running to try and take an enemy position. all of a sudden one is shot and screams out "I'm hit! I'm hit! I've lost and electron!!!"

"are you sure?" says the other

"I'm positive!"
 
Mikesmotorbike said:
a Neutron walks into a bar and asks the guy at the bar how much a beer is. barman turns round and says "for you, no charge"



It's the war of the atoms, two brave ones are running to try and take an enemy position. all of a sudden one is shot and screams out "I'm hit! I'm hit! I've lost and electron!!!"

"are you sure?" says the other

"I'm positive!"
Click to expand...

Nothing beats an intelligent joke!
 
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I know where I am."
 
A young boy starts a conversation with a priest.He says, "God made the first man and woman, right?""Indeed." replies the priest."And....they were naked in the garden, right?""Well, yes." replies the priest, now eager to get away."And...God watched them, right?""Naturally." replies the priest, with a shocked expression."So God invented porn, right?!"
 
Its a long one, But enjoy

The secret of tossing well comes down to a few basic tips.
First on the list is the size of your tool. If it is too small, you really won’t be able to use it to its potential. If it is too big, then you wont be able to handle it, and so hate to use it.
Next Is your liquid. If it is too runny, then it will simply make a terrible mess that will be difficult to clean up. If it is too thick, it will just be a horrible stick mess.
Most importantly, is your wrist action. It needs to be loose, but not too loose, otherwise you wont be able to hold your tool properly. If it is too tight and firm, then it will be terribly uncomfortable, and will hurt after a while.

Using these tips, I hope you toss to your hearts content.

Happy Pancake Day!!!
 
Bikermole said:
Its a long one, But enjoy

The secret of tossing well comes down to a few basic tips.
First on the list is the size of your tool. If it is too small, you really won’t be able to use it to its potential. If it is too big, then you wont be able to handle it, and so hate to use it.
Next Is your liquid. If it is too runny, then it will simply make a terrible mess that will be difficult to clean up. If it is too thick, it will just be a horrible stick mess.
Most importantly, is your wrist action. It needs to be loose, but not too loose, otherwise you wont be able to hold your tool properly. If it is too tight and firm, then it will be terribly uncomfortable, and will hurt after a while.

Using these tips, I hope you toss to your hearts content.

Happy Pancake Day!!!
Click to expand...

brilliant xD
 
Not a joke but you may get a few laughs out of it

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSVP0S-L0zg[/youtube]
 
What do women and tropical storms have in common?

When they come they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car.

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk
 
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