Joke Thread

Theodor

Don't wannabe
Nov 16, 2017
918
1,335
93
38
Estonia
I ride a
Valkyrie 1500
Teacher has asked kids to bring something of their homes medical supplies, to school, to talk about them. A lot of them bring bandages and thermometers, some bring disinfectants, but little Tom brought a breathing machine.
Teacher is surprised and asks: "Who does this belong to?"
Tom: "My grandfather."
Teacher: "And what did your grandfather tell you, when you took it?"
Tom: "Nothing, just sighed."
 

Theodor

Don't wannabe
Nov 16, 2017
918
1,335
93
38
Estonia
I ride a
Valkyrie 1500
"Waiter! Get me your manager, right now!"
- "I'm sorry, but that's not possible, at the moment."
"Why not?! I demand to see him!"
- "Unfortunately he ate the same mushroom stew, you're having."
 

Theodor

Don't wannabe
Nov 16, 2017
918
1,335
93
38
Estonia
I ride a
Valkyrie 1500
Secretaries of a big company are talking about their work skills, only the newest of them sits quietly, and does not say anything. Finally the colleagues ask, if she has any special skills, to be proud of.
She says quietly: "I can type 1200 letters per minute."
Everyone is baffled, until she adds: "But it's total gibberish."
 

Theodor

Don't wannabe
Nov 16, 2017
918
1,335
93
38
Estonia
I ride a
Valkyrie 1500
Russian wakes up with a terrible headache and discovers he is in a jail cell. Soon he is taken to see the investigating officer, who asks him to explain, in his own words, what does he remember, from last night.
"Well, we went hunting for wild boar." Starts the man carefully. "We went to the ambush site, and waited, but no pigs."
Officer: "You started drinking?"
Hunter: "Yes, naturally we had couple of vodkas, and kept waiting."
Officer: "And kept drinking?"
Hunter: "Well yes, at first. But then one of my companions said, that we should go to another ambush site, we would definitely have better luck there. So we went."
Officer: "And drank?"
Hunter: "While walking yes, we had few more vodkas. So we arrived to the next spot, and barely get settled in, when I see a pig running. So I set up my gun, to shoot. But the pigs just kept coming. So I shot them. All of them. But then suddenly a group of men approached. I'm thinking, probably owners of that ambush site, took my gun away and started beating us. And then I must have blacked out."
Officer: "Ok. That's quite clear. I'll just write - while intoxicated, broke in to pig farm...."
 

Drakhen99

The Forrest Gump of Motovloggers
Aug 31, 2020
1,461
1,442
113
road-reality.com
I ride a
2019 Harley Street Glide Special, 2005 Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic (bobber), 1979 Kawasaki KZ650SR
Russian wakes up with a terrible headache and discovers he is in a jail cell. Soon he is taken to see the investigating officer, who asks him to explain, in his own words, what does he remember, from last night.
"Well, we went hunting for wild boar." Starts the man carefully. "We went to the ambush site, and waited, but no pigs."
Officer: "You started drinking?"
Hunter: "Yes, naturally we had couple of vodkas, and kept waiting."
Officer: "And kept drinking?"
Hunter: "Well yes, at first. But then one of my companions said, that we should go to another ambush site, we would definitely have better luck there. So we went."
Officer: "And drank?"
Hunter: "While walking yes, we had few more vodkas. So we arrived to the next spot, and barely get settled in, when I see a pig running. So I set up my gun, to shoot. But the pigs just kept coming. So I shot them. All of them. But then suddenly a group of men approached. I'm thinking, probably owners of that ambush site, took my gun away and started beating us. And then I must have blacked out."
Officer: "Ok. That's quite clear. I'll just write - while intoxicated, broke in to pig farm...."
... and here I was, thinking it was getting towards last call and they were bar-hopping. Silly me.

-John
 
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Drakhen99

The Forrest Gump of Motovloggers
Aug 31, 2020
1,461
1,442
113
road-reality.com
I ride a
2019 Harley Street Glide Special, 2005 Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic (bobber), 1979 Kawasaki KZ650SR
I am floored by this joke. It should've gone in the toilet. Maybe they'll have a clean window now to see what the future holds?

-John
 
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Reactions: Theodor and R-Rated

Drakhen99

The Forrest Gump of Motovloggers
Aug 31, 2020
1,461
1,442
113
road-reality.com
I ride a
2019 Harley Street Glide Special, 2005 Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic (bobber), 1979 Kawasaki KZ650SR
The shear hilarity of that joke!

-John
 
  • Haha
Reactions: R-Rated

Theodor

Don't wannabe
Nov 16, 2017
918
1,335
93
38
Estonia
I ride a
Valkyrie 1500
Man goes to a travel agency and explains: "For years, I have only worked and worked, but it seems I never have a possibility to have a proper vacation. What could you offer me?"
Agent: "Well, we have a special today, skiing trip to Italian mountains, only 1500 EUR."
Man: "Oh, that is way too expensive for me. Do you have anything cheaper?"
Agent: "Sure, we can send you to Spain. There's a low season now, so prices are good. Only 1200 EUR, for a weeks trip."
Man: "We are well over my tolerance here, can you offer me something cheaper?"
Agent: "I do have a weekend trip to sightseeing in Prague. That's only 820 EUR."
Man: "Come on, don't you have anything affordable for a poor working man?"
Agent: "Well how much do you have then?"
Man: "I thin I have like 10-15 EUR."
Agent: "For that I can only offer you a local nature experience."
Man (enthusiastically): "Very good, what is it?"
Agent: "Take a hike, buster!"
 

Drakhen99

The Forrest Gump of Motovloggers
Aug 31, 2020
1,461
1,442
113
road-reality.com
I ride a
2019 Harley Street Glide Special, 2005 Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic (bobber), 1979 Kawasaki KZ650SR
Just came up with this, while watching one of the latest videos by @Drakhen99

How do you get youtubers to visit a strip club?
Call the entertainment unboxing.
Geez, now I'm inspiring jokes?

Oh well, I'll take it! :D All press is good press, right?

-John
 

Theodor

Don't wannabe
Nov 16, 2017
918
1,335
93
38
Estonia
I ride a
Valkyrie 1500
Santa hires a security team, with a shady background. Because they were recommended, as efficient force, to be reckoned with.
One morning the chief of security comes and says: "We caught a man, spray painting vulgar words next to the entrance of the toy factory."
Santa: "Get a cleaner right away and..."
Security: "Already done, cleaner came took care of it."
Santa: "That's some swift work."
Security: "Thank you. We try our best. But what shall we do with the graffiti?"
 

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